How hard is it to change life patterns or habits? I know I struggle. My challenge at the moment is not looking at my phone as soon as I wake. There is good reason not to do this as a quick Google will bring up many of articles on how it affects your brain, your day and even creating wealth. So why do we struggle so much to break a habit or a life pattern?
Pseudoscience, neuroscience, psychology, etc. can all shed light on the why. Show us why it is so hard. But then commonsense does also, I believe – we all have gut feelings.
In Becoming Supernatural written by Dr Joe Dispenza (2017), he talks about changing your life patterns. We all have patterns; they dictate how we go throughout our day. We do things automatically and they are all retained in our unconscious by emotions. They make us feel comfy is how I read it; whether in a good or bad way, all part of “fight or flight” mode.
So to break a habit, we need to break that emotional tie. Worst case scenario: that person that stays in an abusive relationship. To the outsider we wonder why anyone would stay, why they won’t leave. When you talk to a person who is there, they may have feelings of love, inadequacy, excuse the other person “he/she is a good person, really” and/or it’s just part of their life. All emotions are all built into our brains to accept as normal; all programmed from the first instance when it got seen, heard or felt. When they come out of that relationship, they tell you they had to fight all those feelings, push through fear to see reality. Everything we program our brain with has an emotion attached to it. To break a habit, we need to break the emotional tie. Our brain is programmed through our emotions.
I raise this as I found encouragement from Dr D’s book. It helped me understand why I struggle to change habits. When we go to change a habit, our brain starts to fight. Just try meditating or praying, see how you go without your mind wandering (I know mine loves a good wander!). Near impossible but is possible change!
If your brain has been trained, then it goes to reason it can be untrained or retrained to what you want it to do next. But this, my friend, brings its own challenge – one needs patience (my arch nemesis) – patience to allow change, patience with one’s self and lots of positive self talk. Think of the Buddhist – it takes years of patience and if it takes them years, of course, it will take us time to break life patterns.
If there is something in your life holding you back from your best life, you can change it. Start by making that choice to change. Accept that change will not be easy but as I am learning, I encourage you also – if you want to change, be patient with yourself, love yourself and be nice to yourself. It’s all part of the journey of becoming the person you want to be.